Zhuangzi

(simplified Chinese: 庄子; traditional Chinese: 莊子; pinyin: Zhuāng Zǐ) was an influential Chinese philosopher who lived around the 4th century BC during the Warring States Period, corresponding to the Hundred Schools of Thought philosophical summit of Chinese thought. His name is sometimes spelled Chuang Tsu, Chuang Tzu, Zhuang Tze, Chouang-Dsi, Chuang Tse, Chuangtze or – in English – Master Chuang.

逍遥游

北冥有鱼①，其名曰鲲②。鲲之大，不知其几千里也；化而为鸟，其名为鹏③。鹏之背，不知其几千里也；怒而飞④，其翼若垂天之云⑤。是鸟也，海运则将徙于南冥⑥。南冥者，天池也⑦。齐谐者⑧，志怪者也⑨。谐之言曰：“鹏之徙于南冥也，水击三千里⑩，抟扶摇而上者九万里(11)，去以六月息者也(12)。”野马也(13)，尘埃也(14)，生物之以息相吹也(15)。天之苍苍，其正色邪？其远而无所至极邪(16)？其视下也，亦若是则已矣。且夫水之积也不厚，则其负大舟也无力。覆杯水于坳堂之上(17)，则芥为之舟(18)；置杯焉则胶，水浅而舟大也。风之积也不厚，则其负大翼也无力，故九万里则风斯在下矣(19)。而后乃今培风(20)，背负青天而莫之夭阏者(21)，而后乃今将图南。蜩与学鸠笑之曰(22)：“我决起而飞(23)，抢榆枋(24)，时则不至，而控于地而已矣(25)；奚以之九万里而南为(26)？”适莽苍者(27)，三飡而反(28)，腹犹果然(29)；适百里者，宿舂粮(30)；适千里者，三月聚粮。之二虫又何知(31)？小知不及大知(32)，小年不及大年。奚以知其然也？朝菌不知晦朔(33)，蟪蛄不知春秋(34)，此小年也。楚之南有冥灵者(35)，以五百岁为春，五百岁为秋；上古有大椿者(36)，以八千岁为春，八千岁为秋(37)。而彭祖乃今以久特闻(38)，众人匹之(39)，不亦悲乎？
汤之问棘也是已(40)：“穷发之北有冥海者(41)，天池也。有鱼焉，其广数千里，未有知其修者(42)，其名曰鲲。有鸟焉，其名为鹏，背若太山(43)，翼若垂天之云；抟扶摇、羊角而上者九万里(44)，绝云气(45)，负青天，然后图南，且适南冥也。斥鴳笑之曰(46)：‘彼且奚适也？我腾跃而上，不过数仞而下(47)，翱翔蓬蒿之间，此亦飞之至也(48)。而彼且奚适也？’”此小大之辩也(49)。
故夫知效一官(50)、行比一乡(51)、德合一君、而徵一国者(52)，其自视也亦若此矣。而宋荣子犹然笑之(53)。且举世而誉之而不加劝(54)，举世而非之而不加沮(55)，定乎内外之分(56)，辩乎荣辱之境(57)，斯已矣。彼其于世，未数数然也(58)。虽然，犹有未树也。夫列子御风而行(59)，泠然善也(60)，旬有五日而后反(61)。彼于致福者(62)，未数数然也。此虽免乎行，犹有所待者也(63)。若夫乘天地之正(64)，而御六气之辩(65)，以游无穷者，彼且恶乎待哉(66)？故曰：至人无己(67)，神人无功(68)，圣人无名(69)。

If you ask me do you fear something, my answer will be Yes, I DO!

The table topic I made for the first time several weeks ago was DO NOT FEAR. But the turtle I bought for the prop and award as well was sent back to the seller, just because I do fear I can’t raise it well.

There are a lot of other things I did fear or do fear.

I was scared of big dogs, because I had been chased by a ferocious dog.

I was afraid of feeling sorry for myself, because I am a completist.

I fear of aging, because I am not such young any more.

I am worried about my parents, they are getting old, but I do not satisfy them. I regret having not planed my life according to the ordinary people’s timetable.

……

One day I started to think why I have so many fears.

Then I found with my growing, the big dogs are not as big as when I was 12 years old, and one of the most ferocious dogs named Husky becomes my favorite one.

I am a person who chases for flawlessness. But now I find out that things are not going worse if I lower my standard.

Age is not only a number. When I count it, the feeling of getting older and the pressure from the people around me affects me truly. But we are lucky that birthday is counted every single year and to each one of us is equal, no one could skip or prolong seconds for minutes, minutes for hours or hours for a day.

My parents are at their sixties; to me they are the most tolerant parents to their children in the world. The more they understand me, the more I feel guilty about what they do for me. Loving them is to put saying into practice.

……

The conclusion I made from the above presumption is my ability to continue with an unpleasant or difficult situation, experience, or activity over a long period of time has been improved. This ability is called endurance.

To endure the scare of ferocious animal, to endure the feeling of sorry for myself, to endure the fear of aging, to endure the worry of regret …

To endure is to experience it and do not avoid it or give up.

I feel ease and peaceful when I suddenly realized it.

I do fear, at the same period, I become mature. It’s growth. As we grow, we learn more. If I stayed at twenty-four, I would always be as ignorant as I was at twenty-four. I turned to my thirties this July, the last few days before my 30’s birthday and the first few days after that time has been one of the most painful time up till now. We hear people always say, “Oh, if I were young again.” We never hear people say, “I wish I were sixty.”

All these fears will happen anyhow, no matter whether we are always going to be unhappy or not. Fears reflect unsatisfied lives, unfulfilled lives. Lives that haven’t found meaning. Because if we’ve found meaning in our life, we don’t want to go back. We want to go forward. We want to see more, do more. And we can’t wait until sixty or even much older.          

The culture we have doesn’t encourage us to think about the question like what if today were the last day you had on earth. We are wrapped up with our career, family, having enough money, meeting the balance, buying a new car, so we don’t get into the habit of standing back and looking at our lives and saying, is this all I want? Is something missing?

Having a fear is not such a terrible thing, but lost ourselves is.

Wish My Great Motherland

is Thriving and Prosperous!